Finny and Bard's Maiden Saving Service
by A Perfect Devil
Summary: On a slow day at work, the two come up with a new way to make themselves useful.


If it hadn't been for a strange man, Bard and Finny would have never known each other. Bard was a poor man with no one in his life, nor was he willing to accept new friends. He had friends, and he had a family; they just happened to be dead. Finny despite his calm and happy exterior hated all people and human society as a whole, and no one could blame him for that. So naturally, they didn't thin much of each other at first, and they didn't care for Maylene a bit either.

Though after awhile, both of them found that they had become close in a way most people would not have noticed. Finny often watch Bard behind cracked doors explode things and viewed his 'trouble making' as talent. Bard often marveled at Finny's strength. They respected each other before they ever really got to know each other.

"I'm running low on fags." Bard said, leaning against the wall of the Manor.

"I can lend you some of my allowance." Finny said. "I have a few pounds in my sock."

"Nah, it's cool. Maybe we could start a business." Bard mused on.

"You're right." Finny agreed. "It's not like we do too much anyways."

And he was entirely right. They watched Mr. Sebastian do every task in the household while they either looked at him in disbelief that such things were possible by human standards or got in his way. While they were top-notch at their 'night jobs'; during the day, they were virtually useless.

"What kind of job could we even do?" Finny said, rather disheartened by his own lack of skill. While he exceeded in strength, he wasn't good at anything else. He was nearly literate but his knowledge of mathematical skill and practical knowledge of human society worked wasn't too great.

"Something that combines your talent with my artistic vision." Bard said. "Maybe something that gets the ladies, y'know. And not a girl like May' but, a real lady. All painted up and everythin'."

"We could have a painted lady?" Finny asked, his eyes beaming in delight. He had never seen a lady that was all done up nice and pretty before. He had seen women, but they were the plain ind an not the lace and corset and the things he saw in Bard's photos kind.

"Dozens." Bard said, sighing and enjoying the sunset before them.

"I have an idea." Finny broke the silence barrier between there thoughts. "Why don't we rescue ladies who are in trouble? We'll be like princes in shining armor except we'll be us."

Bard pondered about it for a second. It seemed impractical. It seemed nearly stupid of an idea really, considering that there were police and husbands and brothers who took care of the women. Then something clicked in his head. Finny's idea was crazy enough to work. Bard, with his experience in the military and Finny with his uncanny ability to beat anyone into pulp- this was a genius plot.

It was a long, long walk into town. On the way there, they looked high and low for any sign of crime. Human traffickers, gangsters, robbers. None in sight. Usually there were dozens but it was almost like they knew Bard and Finny were on the prowl. It was too early to call it in though, Bard and finny would find a crime, and they would stop it and they would save a fancy lady. It was just a matter of waiting.

"I'm getting hungry." Finny complained. He was sitting on a bench in the park while bard looked around with a pair of binoculars from a rather short tree.

"Don't you have candy with you?"

"Oh. Yeaaah. Want some?"

"No, you have it. I brought a sandwich."

As they took their midnight break in the park eating candy and sandwiches, they both heard a scream, presumably female coming from a nearby street. They gulped own the rest of their snack while running towards the possible crime. They were both on high watch ready to rush in and save the lady. They saw the man run away as she was left in the alley, crying in the corner.

"Hello ma'am, we're here to save you!" Finny said cheerfully and held out his hand. She took his hand and he pulled her up. Luckily she wasn't injured.

"He… took my money." she sobbed out.

"It's okay Lady, we're on the case and we're gonna' get your money back." Bard promised.

Bard and Finny ran off, leaving the woman standing there confused. Why would to random men just want to help her? Were they perverts? Did they want sex? The chase was over in less than a few minutes, the man had not gotten far and simply did not expect two men to come to retreive the item for the woman he had stolen it from.

Finny had managed to grab the man by the arm, and by pure accident he had also heard that light crunching sound that told him that he broke the mans arm. For a second finny looked nearly concerned for the guy while Bard grabbed the purse out of the man's grasp and kicked him in the stomach for an added effort.

"That was mean to kick him like that." Finny said.

"Any man who steals a lady's belongings deserves it!" and to that, they both had an agreement.

Finny was given the grand job to handing the woman her belongings. She took it from them with a look of disbelief on her face. She couldn't believe that two strangers would be so willing, so kind, so gentlemanly as to help a random lady on the street. They did not even seem like officers of the law. Just two average every day normal guys.

"That'll be ten pounds ma'am" Bard said.

"What?" the woman asked.

"Ten pounds. Tobacco ain't cheap you know."

"Neither is candy!" Finny chimed in, though most of his candy was given to him by his master as his job as funtom's taste tester.

"I suppose you two deserve it." The woman sighed, handing Finny the money.

On the way back home, the sun was just rising and they had been up all night. Any second now Sebastian would be knocking on their doors and they wouldn't be there to answer the call. Oh, he was going to be angry with them. But at least they had a good reason to be out all night, right? They had the tobacco and candy they bought as proof of a job well done.

"Where did you two go last night?" Sebastian asked, waiting at the bac door to them ansion with a sour look on his face.

"We were saving ladies!" Finny said.

"Honestly. The two of you go out all night on a work week and then you come home in the morning and lie about it to me?"

"No really man. We found a woman whose was stolen, got it back and then she paid us money to do it." Bard said.

"If you have all the time to make up these ridiculous stories, then you should be getting work done!" Sebastian shouted at them.

They shuffled off, sleep-deprived and tired. Sebastian sighed and couldn't imagine what they'd possibly be out doing at night and it wasn't like them to lie. Even Bard, who seemed permanently shady was never the kind of guy to tell such a blatant lie to anyone, much less his boss.

"Aw, he's not even gonna' give us credit for doing a good deed!" Bard complained as he pumped water in the metal bucket for his future cleaning of burnt surfaces.

"It doesn't matter. The best heroes are the ones who don't need the recognition." Finny said. Bard could only nod in agreement. For a kid, Finny always had good ideas here and there.


End file.
